Sustain
Lyric Canon Anthology
by Sameshima Shuzumi
4875 wc ~ PG-13 ~
I heard this gorgeous song by Nina Gordon and just had to songfic it. It's called "Tonight and the Rest of My Life." I encourage you to listen to it while reading.
There are lots of POV and time jumps here; fiction has been mixed with canon. Don't worry about keeping track of it... just let it flow. This is also kind of a love letter to the show, and the yaoi ficdom that's grown around it. Spoilers for the TV show! Enjoy.


It caught them all by surprise. One minute they were wide awake, going about their afternoon routines, and in the next their kanji were flaring and their armor orbs grew hot to the touch. Shin snapped his book closed as the sea-roar grew in his ears and Suiko called to him. Across town, Shuu ducked into a private booth at his familyís restaurant, Kongoís earthquake rumble shaking his bones. Korin found Seiji polishing his swords, and flooded the room with shadow-banishing light. Ryo nearly dropped the picture he was hanging when Rekkaís energy scorched through his veins. The cool touch of Tenku caught Touma as he left his class.

It was the familiar white heat of the Kikoutei. But although Ryo braced himself to receive the Sun Emperorís power, it didnít come.

Instead the power rushed into their souls, flinging them into the depths of their dreams.

Down to the earth I fell

From behind Tenkuís mask, all I saw was the vast darkness of space. And the stars. Carl Sagan was right--there are billions and billions of them. You canít imagine the immensity. Itís like the whole universe is embracing you.

They sing to me.

I rarely use so unscientific a term, but I can think of nothing more fitting. I canít explain it any other way. Heavenís own choir, and I wish the other guys could hear it.

Then I look down. The Earth. My God, I could hold it in my hand. The yoroi, the darkness, the stars remind me that this is what I am fighting for. This precious jewel is my home. The home of my friends.

Even now, one of them speeds towards me. I almost weep, here in the silent cradle of my armor, for he is in great pain.

Heís coming closer. The yoroi is ready, even though I am not.

~

We are falling.

With dripping wings
Heavy things wonít fly

My heart pounding with fear, the ground rises up to meet me as the water column sets me down. The warlord looms before me. I am no match for his poison. This is no battle for the world; this is a fight for survival. Belatedly I realize Iíve been lured out of the water.

~

Panic. Iím a strong swimmer, but I didnít count on the water being this frigid. I can barely feel my extremities anymore.

Then a rush of calm. Only one of us can bestow that sense of peace so completely.

My kanji-- no, my whole body answers.

I can see the surface now.

~

The stench of flames. Mere instants, and that demonís cut me down. My Suiko yoroi is calling me, its voice like a tidal surge. I canít move. I donít want to move. The venom is too strong, itís seeping everywhere. Vaguely I hear someone in the distance... my inner voice cries out before I feel the kanji burning on my skin--

~Ryo!~

~

We are falling to the ground. Heís caught me in his arms. Iím shivering like crazy, but I canít help thinking how strong he is for someone so delicate.

~

The fightís going so quickly, but I know what I must do. I pour everything I have into the Choryuha, praying it will be enough. Ryo risks his life again, leaping in the air after the warlord and channeling his sure-kill straight into the enemy.

Later we limp away from the ruined bridge. He slumps over my shoulder, almost losing consciousness, but he still has a smile for the boy, and reassuring words. I canít help but smile as well.

And the sky might catch on fire

Tears of frustration. I must reach him in time.

~

The rage I have always kept in check explodes to the surface. The ominous shooting star has disappeared into this false dawn, and here we are, battling these empty husks while our friends are dying.

Aragoís mocking laughter fills the air. Beside me, Shuu swears he will go after the demon himself. My grandfatherís voice echoes through my head. Foolish, reckless, impossible... I shove it away. I must stay calm, especially if we lose Touma and Ryo, but thereís nothing I want more than to swing this sword and destroy the evil things in my path.

~

I raise my head with an effort. Ryo is still wearing the white armor, barely able to stand. I will myself to my feet as the others rise.

The energy from the attack fills the sky. A bright seam opens in the horizon; thereís a collective wave of dread as the familiar Youjakai gates appear.

I lean weakly against Shuu. Aragoís voice pierces our souls. Then the great power of the Kikoutei splits the churning thunderheads, and suddenly I donít know which to fear, the darkness or the light.

~

The sunset sets the sky ablaze. The buildings and the streets are painted with the same golden red as the clouds overhead. The wind in my hair, I watch him perfectly balanced on the girder across from me.

He glances at me as he speaks. Thereís a flash of melancholy, quickly followed by relief and gladness. Iíve never felt so close to anyone--I can tell heís recalling some memory as he meets my eyes. I wonder what heís thinking.

And burn the axis of the world

Even in comfortable sleep I can feel the darkness creeping towards me. Itís like a cold nightmare penetrating this warm rock. Everything in me screams to fight back, but I canít. I donít know why.

Suddenly light bursts into my dreams. Like ripping bone the rock cracks. Not enough to open completely, but Iím awake now. I can sense Seiji, and his opponent. Time to fight! Iím all too happy to follow Kongoís lead.

~

Overwhelming heat. I smell the sulfur and noxious fumes, yet they donít bother me. This is hotter than a forge. Iím floating... Some small part of me figures out that this is an active volcano, but even then Iím not afraid. In fact I feel better than ever.

The yoroi is thrumming with energy. And it tells me... thereís someone else here. Someone who wishes my destruction. Time to battle again, but now the burning heart of the earth is lending her power.

~

Seiji looks relieved. Heís tired, which I figure is unusual for him. As Kongoís faceplate slides up, I crack a joke to put him at ease. His answering smile is stunning. Rare and valuable as the most brilliant diamond. Amazingly, he teases me in return. He can be uptight about things, but from this moment I know heís sure weíll win. Heíll do anything to make it happen. So will I.

~

The energy fills me for what seems like the hundredth time. I am so weak, but I feel the cold fingers of the ankokou spirits dispersing, replaced by this scorching surge. Kikoutei. The girl is still cocky, still fighting, and although the energy tastes older and tainted, my rage is building. Kokuen-Oh leaps before me. The swords are in my hand. Vengeance is in my hand.

I scream, half in anger and in pain. This power... it is a burning column through the Youjakai. I can feel it breaking through this unearthly yellow sky to the city below.

Thatís why
I prefer a sunless sky
To the glittering and stinging in my eyes

Ryo, fight back... get Arago... do it now while we hold him for you... forget about us... donít worry, you have to save the world, not us...

Theyíre holding him back for me. Byakuen growls mournfully, in recognition. Their faces are flashing before me and Arago is paralyzed.

The world. My friends, or the fate of the world.

Thereís water in my eyes.

~

The dull clank of possessed armor. We huddle together in our tiny niche. I am calculating distances and trajectories even as his bare scent overwhelms me. His armored hand settles on my shoulder plate, leaning a little but not too much. Heís exhausted. It will be no use to convince him to sleep, just as it would be no use to close that small distance between us. We canít stop. Period. Our friends need us.

Metallic footsteps veer towards us. In the shadows, we wait for the battle to find us again.

~

Iíve never felt so helpless. One time comes close: when Naazaís venom blinded me. I can still feel the phantom pain in my eyes, though the grief in my heart is worse. What if I hadnít freed Seiji?

I think I would have wandered that youja-infested cave for as long as it took to find him. No matter how complete the darkness.

~

The darkness of the subways disappears. Suddenly I am in the midst of an open field. The sky is blood-red. I realize with a shiver that the grass is bloody as well.

One of Rajuraís tricks, I think. When I find him, Iím gonna Gantessai him into next year!

Yet the carnage around me continues. I canít stop it. It occurs to me that itís already happened.

Then Aragoís voice enters my mind.

~

No... I canít kill my friends.

~

Nasti gasps as I draw my sword. Ryo has been trying to hide the pain from me, but if I donít do something now he may be permanently blinded.

The light channels through Korin Ken. I touch his eyes... and try not to waver as his vision returns.

I felt that. I felt his darkness disappear, and his world come into focus. Iíve never felt so complete, either in meditation or in battle.

He grins at me, his tiger-blue eyes shining. I lock away the memory for the darker times ahead.

~

It canít be the truth! The yoroi canít be evil. Yet the proof is right in front of me. I raised my naginata and destroyed all that. If there had been people in those buildings, I would have killed them.

How can I face my friends now?

~

I wonít kill my friends.

My scream rends the air.

I feel so light
This is all I wanna feel tonight

Destruction rains about them.

"I believe in your yoroi, Ryo."

Crystal blue eyes shine through waves of damp blond hair.

~

"I believe in you."

I feel so light
Tonight and the rest of my life
Tonight and the rest of my life

Weíll be together. Forever.

Gleaming in the dark sea
Iím as light as air
Floating there
breathlessly

Sunbeams in the water, like errant golden threads. They turn the murky depths into a shimmering wonderland. His mind-touch through the water, light as a kiss, and though I know this is a dream, his arms around me feel real enough...

~

I open my eyes. The first thing I see is the dark sky and its weird planets. So this is the Youjakai. Somehow I expected something out of a nightmare, yet itís so peaceful. Then the dark blue eyes, suffused with childish awe.

The three-part ache remains, but it eases a little as he pulls me out of the water.

~

Blue on blue as the combined energy shields rise out of the ocean. He looks like heís forgotten how to breathe. Even through the glow of the kanji and the seawater I can see heís blushing.

I swim towards him, my heart beating fast out of excitement and desperation. I have to remember not to breathe in the seawater. I pull him close. His eyes half-close, a brilliant blue-green even in this water.

Their color stuns me into confusion for a moment. This is what I want... yet my chest flutters oddly. Weíre so close to touching. Am I afraid?

No more than the caress of a wave, his lips brush mine. I take the breath Iíve needed. The warmth Iíve wanted.

Tenku doesnít mind the extra load... weíre rising above the clouds.

~

At the apex of the jump I look straight up into his eyes which are looking down at me. His weight is supported on my hand yet our motionís as one, like he weighs nothing at all, as though that brief touch has joined us before he flies again.

~

...as though he could feel me touching his hair, his skin, his eyes shining like stars in a dream.

When the dream dissolves
I open up my eyes

Itís so quiet here... quiet as a tomb. The armor which protected us are like metal cages. The whispers of Touma and Ryoís minds have died away.

Then, an arrow streaking through the darkness.

Itís so hard to move... help me...

Toumaís fading, I can feel him.

Come on! Move, damn you!

Just hang on... weíll be awake soon...

~

My face is wet with tears. Another damned nightmare. I must have screamed or something, ícause Byakuen is pacing like crazy and the guys are on their way. I try to stifle my tremors, but a sob breaks free. Damn it... all that blood...!

I wake later in their arms. My face heats with embarrassment. They must think Iím a big baby.

One lavender eye opens not a foot from my own. Thereís cool reproof in Seijiís expression, but also a hint of amusement. Shin snuggles closer, murmuring softly in my ear. Shuuís large hand ruffles my hair affectionately.

I muffle a laugh--Touma is pressed against Seiji, trying not to fidget from nervousness. In the dark I find and squeeze his hand.

I realize that

~I love you.~

everything is shoreless sea
Weightlessness is passing over me

I remember this beach... it was just the two of us. The surf just tickling our ankles, the little crabs scuttling from one hole to another, seaweed and crushed shells on the wet sand. I asked him if heíd ever swum out in the open ocean, away from land.

He said, yes, to scatter my fatherís ashes.

~

He was up in that damned tree again. The tallest one. He always insists he doesnít use Tenku to get up there, but even I canít carry all those books and scramble up there like a monkey.

A rustle of branches as he waved. I asked when he planned on falling off.

"Why, are you gonna catch me, Seiji?"

I said the only thing in my mind, my heart. "Always."

~

Naturally I was really sorry I mentioned it, but he said it was okay. Out in open water, he said, you feel so small and helpless.

"But you have to trust the ocean to carry you."

I drew him close then. I wanted to hang on to him, make sure he was real. He returned the hug. And the kiss.

We stayed a long time at that beach, making love in the waves.

~

Suddenly he was right above me, in his subarmor. "Whatís wrong?" I said, clutching my own kanji orb. He shook his head. Then he pulled me up through the tree branches. He did make some flippant comments about my weight, but otherwise held on tight.

Just as I was wondering if the branches would hold us, he guided me onto a wooden platform near the top. It was well camouflaged, for I hadnít seen it from the ground. Naturally there was a pile of books, and a blanket and a thermos which looked like it was hooked to the tree. Touma banished Tenku and cleared a place for me to sit.

The view was breathtaking. We could see the nearest city to the northwest, the forested hills, and the lake below us. Suddenly the tree shook in a breeze. I found myself grabbing Toumaís arm, though only out of habit. A fall wouldnít be fatal with Korin protecting me.

Touma caught me with a kiss. The tree was swaying quite violently now. I felt lightheaded. I buried my hands in his hair, pulling him closer.

Itís like... flight.

I feel so light
This is all I wanna feel tonight

My twin swords escaped the heavier boís guard, and metal clanged against metal.

"Third hit! I win!" I crowed. Out of habit and long practice with ever-formal Seiji, Shuu and I bowed to each other. I called off Rekka and flopped on the grass, tossing a water bottle to Shuu. Heíd been holding out, I could tell. I shook my tanktop for ventilation; it was getting colder, but the workout had me beat. Shuu, on the other hand, was still in full armor.

"Anything wrong?"

A sigh. "You always figure me out, Ryo."

"Hey, even I can see somethingís got you down, dude."

Shuu looked down at his armored hands, and his bo staff. Then he channeled the energy back into the kanji orb, and sat beside me.

I recognized the look on his face. Hesitantly I touched his knee. "Youíve got to trust yourself. The evil canít touch you then."

We sat in silence under the cherry tree, the winter winds howling through its bare branches.

~

"Do you think heíll be all right?" I looked up from my boiling pot, startled. I hadnít heard Seiji come in. Iíd thought everyone was asleep.

Even I heard the false cheer in my voice. "Iím sure heíll be fine, Sei-kun."

He set down his cup of tea. Holding it properly, I noticed. My tea master would have approved.

"Youíre here rather late."

I put the lid on the pot, and turned to face him. Weíre about the same height, but with his muscular frame, I can tell he will grow taller than me.

"Gives me something to do," I murmured. Then, "Heíll wake up, Seiji. Heís strong."

Stronger than the yoroi? we asked ourselves. We didnít know how long Ryo could keep up with the white armor. As if theyíd heard, Suiko and Korin woke, casting a dull glow over our faces. The hour suddenly seemed darker and more still, as the power burned within us.

I laid my head against his chest. Blinking back cowardly, useless, helpless tears. His arms wrapped around me.

We clung to each other until the power flames out. I clenched my fists- I didnít ask for this burden! Neither did my friends. Why us? Why is it our fight?

"Heíll be all right," Seiji whispered.

His heart beat next to my ear. "Hai."

I feel so light
Tonight and the rest of my life

"Hey bud. Whatís up?"

Touma didnít look up. "Voltaire."

I blanched. "Geez, have a little fun!"

"This is fun. Voltaire was a crazy man in his time."

"Heís dead, right?"

"...yes."

"He canít be having much fun then."

Touma chuckled. "Guess not." I ruffled his hair. He leaned back on the couch and looked up at me. "Shuu?"

"Yeah?"

The deep blue eyes turned serious. "I was thinking... I never said sorry..." He trailed off.

"For what?" I sat next to him.

Toumaís gaze dropped. "Leaving you there to fight Gen Masho. I mean, it was the strategic thing to do and I just--"

"When... oh! Man, we had to do it. You had to go help Ryo fight Arago. Besides, it was my fight with Spiderhead."

"You sure?"

I laid a warm hand on his shoulder. "Why are you so worried about it?"

Touma voice fell to a whisper. "I just get carried away sometimes. I... hurt people. And I donít even think twice about it..."

I pulled him into a strong hug. "You canít hurt me, Touma." At first he was startled, but slowly he relaxed in my hold. "Kongoís tougher than that. Iíll always be here."

He wasnít quite crying, which scared me more than the guilt trip. Poor guy. He wasnít just an only child; from what heíd told us, his parents hadnít been around much. I guess itís the ínii-chan in me. But not just that... Toumaís pulled us out of the fire lots of times. In some ways heís worse than Ryo when it comes to taking hits for his friends. And he talks about hurting us...

I didnít let go until Touma was ready.

"Thanks."

"Anytime. You wanna play Chinese checkers?"

Touma grunted into my shoulder. "I always beat you."

"So? Sometimes you can let me win. The point is, we sat around and played."

"Iíve never thought of it like that," said Touma. I could see the understanding in his eyes. This is right. This is my family too.

"Heh. Never thought Iíd teach you anything." I pressed a kiss into the unruly blue locks. "You get the board and Iíll raid the kitchen."

Touma grinned. "Deal."

Tonight and the rest of my life

I sighed. He was undressing me with his eyes again. I tucked back a lock of auburn wiping up the coffee table and stacking some books and papers so I could actually see the wood.

"Tou-chan, donít you have something better to do?"

He chuckled. "Yes. You could be sitting on my lap."

Despite myself, I laughed. "I liked you better when you were quiet and antisocial."

"Look whoís talking."

"Iím not antisocial!"

"Youíre certainly not quiet." To demonstrate, Touma pulled me onto the couch. I let out an undignified squeal.

Touma nuzzled my ear. "Shin?"

"Yes?"

"Iím glad I met you."

"Me too." I accepted the slow, sweet kiss, murmuring a little as Touma stroked his hair.

Something in the kitchen chimed.

"Tou-chan. Thatís dinner."

"Mmmm."

"This time tomorrow?"

"And tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow," said Touma, trying to tickle me.

I silenced him with another kiss. Weíd read the play together, one dreary afternoon. I knew the line. " ĎCreeps in this petty pace from day to day...í "

Touma whispered, "Love you..."

" ĎTo the last syllable of recorded time.í "

~

A wooden training sword smashed against the wall and shattered.

"Leave, Seiji, I screwed up!" I could see him in the mirror, his arms crossed.

"Yes. Yes, you did."

Damn it, couldnít he take a hint? "Get the fuck out of here."

Seiji didnít wince as he usually did at the sound of obscenities. His expression was unreasonably calm. Slowly he advanced towards me.

"You screwed up by not calling the rest of us. By going off on your own. You canít handle these enemies on your own, Ryo."

No! I could have gotten them all killed. It was easier to do it by myself, except naturally, I had to screw it all up--! Deftly Seiji caught my hand before it could pound into the glass.

"Leave me alone, Seiji."

His breath was warm on my ear. "No. Never."

I turned and leaned back on the glass. There was a matching mirror on the other side of the training room, but Seijiís crystalline eyes held my attention. My breath caught. So intense, it was beautiful. How he had learned to hide that, Iíll never know. How he could afford to keep that promise was an even bigger mystery.

Seiji leaned forward and kissed my lips. A skillful tongue slipped in, and suddenly I was too tired to fight.

He disengaged long enough to shut the door.

"Never?"

"Never."

Everything is waves and stars
The Universe is resting in my arms

The sunset painted the waterís surface blood-red and gold. He was a small figure on the dock, making wavelets with his feet. The sun caught in his hair, crowning him with fire.

I dived and cut through the water, breaking the surface just below him.

~

Itís late, but he waited up for me. I kept telling him not to, and he kept telling me to go to bed earlier. I shut the door quietly.

He was staring at me, half reclined on his bed. I shivered. Even in the dark he looked beautiful.

I sat on my bed to put my books and papers away, and heard him make a soft sound... of disappointment? I took off my shirt. So he actually thought Iíd sleep in my own bed.

How could I possibly do that? I lifted the covers and slipped in next to him. His arms slid over my shoulders and around my neck. I love the way he smells, sharp and soft at the same time. The sheer closeness of him always fills me with tingling warmth.

His mouth tipped up to claim mine. Hard to believe that a few weeks before I couldnít have imagined this. His lips traveled my body, his hands explored my skin, building slowly.

"Love..."

Well, weíre not sleepy anymore.

~

With barely a splash he emerged out of the water. I couldnít help but grin. His hair was sticking to his face, and his eyes are shining. I offered him a hand. Instead of getting out of the water, he took my hand and leaned against my leg. Cool droplets ran down my skin.

"Youíre blushing," he declared quietly.

I laughed. He nuzzled the side of my knee, sparking something which would ignite and spread in time.

We watched the water deepen from gold to dark red to a burnished orange, his hand in mine, my skin turning cool from the water and warm from his breath.

"Itís getting dark."

He was perfectly still. The water lapped against him, making him bob a little. Then he looked up and smiled at me.

It was like holding a bubble in my hands, slicked with color and light, so close... too close to bursting.

But that moment was ours. And no one, not the war, not Arago, no one was going to take it away from us.

~

He was sprawled on my lap, his thick hair tickling my stomach. I almost loved these moments better than the sex... skin to skin. Eventually one of us would have to get up and steal a sheet from the other bed. Eventually weíd fish out our underwear and put them back on. Eventually weíd fall asleep.

I traced his features with my hand. His eyelids fluttered as he looked up at me.

But for now, it was just our eyes on each other, and his breath on my fingertips.

This is all Iíve ever wanted.

I feel
so light
This is all I wanna feel tonight

Cherry blossoms fall like snow. Only the sound of rustling silk disturbs the silence.

The weight of centuries upon my shoulders.

Yet I know Iím not alone.

I feel so light

A memory, cutting like sharpened steel.

~Our souls are in your hands.~

Tonight and the rest of my life

I canít believe heís letting me touch him like this. Yet I know weíve felt it for so long. His lips welcome mine. Petal-soft.

I must catch my breath. Cradled against his chest, breathing his scent, closing all the space between us...

~

...the time before this becomes a dream.

I feel so light

The vision ends as quickly as it arrives.

In its place, a single sakura, fragile and fresh in each open palm.

This is all I wanna feel tonight

Pulling on his jacket, Shin runs out of his Shinjuku apartment to catch the train. In Yokohama Shuu leaves a note on the restaurant phone then takes his cousinís motorcycle. Seiji crosses his name off the dojoís evening schedule, jumps into his car and tears out of the driveway. Touma is waiting for him at his apartment. No words are spoken. None are needed. Each feels an urgency as a drowning man craves breath, as though the dream might fade with every passing moment.

As dusk settles over the countryside, one by one they arrive at Nastiís mansion. At the door Ryo meets each of them with a strong hug. For long minutes thereís awkward silence. Itís not a dream anymore. The feelings are too strong for words, too fragile and fleeting for the light of day.

Shin starts off with tentative kisses and whispered thanks. They are careful and quiet, as though fanning a dying ember. By the time Seiji and Touma arrive, the others are upstairs. They exchange a nod and a smirk, then climb up to meet their friends.

Gently they recreate the dream with eyes and hands and skin, completing the joining of their souls. The evening deepens. It is a night for much pleasure, but also for listening to one anotherís heartbeat for the first time, exploring gazes for the first time.

I feel so light
Tonight and the rest of my life

Touma lies back, looking out the window at the midnight sky. Thereís a hand stroking his hair.

The stars are singing to him.

He realizes the others have heard their song, if only for that one moment.

"What did it mean?" Itís the first time anyoneís spoken out loud.

Ryo leans back on Seijiís lap. "The yoroi were trying to tell us something."

"After all this time." Shuu draws Shin closer. "Theyíre not needed anymore but they wanted to remind us that we still have each other."

Shin sighs. Afterglow softens his voice. "Even without the armors, weíre bonded together. We were brought together to fight... yet Iíve never felt so... at peace."

Heiwa.

Seiji opens his palm, and concentrates. Their faces are lit briefly by Rei kanji. In his hand appears a sakura. It is unspoiled, as though newly fallen.

"It will last." He looks to the others. His friends, his loves, closer than brothers. "We shall sustain it."

Bright-hot their virtues burn in a silent vow. The air fills with the glow from their upturned hands like the warm breeze of a sacred spring.

Tonight and the rest of my life



~OWARI~

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